Zombie Command

The Crazies (Breck Eisner, 2010) takes place in an Iowan farming town called Ogden Marsh. Everything is very “small town, USA”, until the population begin to get a little homicidal. The town’s water has been contaminated by an unknown chemical and as “the crazy” spreads the military arrive to lock the town down. The Sheriff (Timothy Olyphant, Scream 2), his Doctor wife (Radha Mitchell, Pitch Black and Silent Hill) and Deputy (Joe Anderson, The Ruins and Creep) must survive and escape.

Upon entry to this screening we had our temperatures taken by masked doctors flanked by big guys in hazmat suits with machine guns. We were then tagged with plastic, hospital style bracelets before being escorted to a bar completely covered in plastic sheeting and reverberating from a disconcerting, low frequency sound. A (free, WOO) drink later we entered the cinema and took our seats. Another doctor, with an armed guard, ran to the front of the screen to tell us that due to the events taking place outside we were to be quarantined in this room for our own safety. And not to panic. Then it was on with the show.

Though I am not (by any means) a fan of remakes and (by all means) a huge fan of St. George of Romero, I have never been awfully precious about the ’73 version. In fact I would probably go so far as to say this MAY be one of the FEW instances when a remake is PERHAPS justified. It’s a great concept, and one with a lot of mileage not put on the meter in the original. And this was good, pretty damn good – I think my immediate twitter response was actually “pretty rad”.

I won’t spoil a thing, but there are a lot of very well done set pieces. They’re atmospheric, well shot, exciting and always with a little touch of “Oh nice, I wasn’t expecting that” (you’ll like the knifey-hand). And it doesn’t really let up. For the most part, it cracks along at pace, barely pausing for breath. Although it does. Twice. Only for a few minutes, but these periods are a bit dull. Although ordinarily you may not even notice, they are perhaps a victim of the rest of the film being so fast and lean.

It’s well written too. The script is nice and tight, there’s nothing extraneous and to the best of my recollection everything pays off. There are some killer lines too, for example:

I won’t tell you why I need to go back for my wife. And you don’t have to tell me how you can leave without yours.

The sound design, in particular, also stands out. Metallic scraping, slow, heavy footsteps, silence and maniacal laughter all add a lot to the films effectiveness and it’s something commonly overlooked. It doesn’t pull any punches either. The violence is fast, bloody, nasty and pretty inventive at times. And people are mean. And people make tough decisions. And with no “Oh should I, shouldn’t I? Oh the humanity!” faff either.

The bad? Rhada Mitchell is weak. It’s a decent enough part she just plays it like a wet, annoying noodle. In fact at one point Olyphant gives her a “magic road” rant and instead of suspecting he had the crazy I wanted to applaud him for telling her to knock it off.

Cheap scares? Yep, sorry, there’s a bunch. The over reliance on using a musical sting or character appearing out of thin air to give you a jump wears a le-e-e-tle thin. I was actually beginning to wonder if there would be a twist at the end revealing Olyphant’s character is actually a magician (or a ninja). He materializes, as if from nowhere, three times!

Bottom line though, I highly recommend it. It’s exciting, thrilling and at times chilling (though that may have been enhanced by the sub-Arctic air-con). Go, enjoy and keep your eyes peeled for Uncle George’s shout-out.

You can find out more about the film on the official site.