The films opens in 1968 when a virus is unleashed in a military hospital that turns people into zombies. The outbreak is contained but a sample of the virus survives inside a thermos and we’re transported to modern day Pennsylvania where the military hospital has since been turned into a mental institution, just as the hapless patients stumble upon the mystery vial.

Needless to say the vial infects the group and we follow the patients through the next 90 minutes of some of the worst cinema still available to buy.

Despite being both ‘official’ and allegedly taking place in the same universe this has nothing at all to do with Romero’s film. The zombies talk, the metamorphosis of human to zombie is different (they grow horns!) and it’s just outright weird. If they hadn’t chosen to call this Day of the Dead 2 I might have been slightly more forgiving, but changing the title couldn’t have saved this from being a bad movie.

Day of the Dead 2: Contagium had a rather large budget for a zombie film of $9M. By comparison Diary of the Dead had $2M to play with and the original Day only $3.5M (about $6.5M inflation adjusted). The fact that they have a comparitively large budget becomes readily apparent as you watch the film; with each scene representing another $100k the writers and directors have blown on that day’s drug intake.

The virus ‘floats’ in front of the characters eyes and represents itself as star charts and symbols in glowing colours as they sleep; that day was clearly a good day for their LSD dealer. The zombies are huge hulking monsters with horns and dissect you, eating the tasty bits; mushrooms. The plot; can only be explained by being made up while high on weed.

Everything about this film is terrible.

Choosing to use a mental institution and it’s patients as a backdrop to this film was at best a poor choice and at worst exploitative. The sub-plots and characterizations of these patients seems to have been though out, but seems as if it was trying to be sympathetic to these patients needs without actually understanding what it’s like to be in one of these institutions or with any regards to the real difficulties and emotions that patients suffer.

It is also completely incongruous to the setting and unnecessary for the plot. Almost as if it started out as a melodrama for another film before the director was offered to do a zombie film.

The make up and special effects were mostly terrible, made worse by terrible lighting and angles. Often they didn’t even bother with special effects, such as the guns neither firing blanks nor having any kind of muzzle flare. I’m surprised the sound wasn’t just done by a guy in the background shouting ‘BANG!’.

What CGI there is looks like it was from the early 80′s rather than mid-00′s; why pay for a professional when you can get the same effect by using ‘My first post-production kit’ plus copious amounts of intravenous drugs.

Sadly, I did not have the requisite $9M to spend on Class A drugs that would required to also think that this film was a good idea or in any way enjoyable, so Day of the Dead 2: Contagium has launched itself into the top 3 worst…

Yo, ZC Barry, I’m really happy for you and I’mma gonna let you finish but Zombie Nation was one of the worst zombie films of all time. OF ALL TIME!

…zombie films of all time.

Eh, thanks Kanye.

Perhaps the most depressing part of the film is that another sequel is due out soon, Day of the Dead: Epidemic.

If my glowing review has somehow managed to pique the curiosity of your masochistic side, you can buy the DVD below from Amazon.

The film is set in the ‘only on TV perfect’ 1950′s where the dead have started coming back to life thanks to radioactive space dust; as hinted at in the original Night of the Living Dead, complete with a great black in white intro and homage to the 1968 classic. Scientists at ZomCom have since managed to invent a collar that controls the zombies’ cannibalistic urges and now people have zombie servants ready to do their every bidding.

The story follows little Timmy Robinson (K’Sun Ray), a socially awkward kid who is picked on by his peers and ignored by his father, and ‘Fido’, his 6ft tall zombie best friend (Billy Connolly). It’s not long before a collar malfunction means Fido gets loose but it turns out that zombies still have some of their humanity; Fido actually protects Timmy and acts a surrogate father to him. Once ZomCom find out that FIdo got loose though it’s up to Timmy and his mum Helen (Carrie-Anne Moss) to defeat the evil head of ZomCom.

The story itself isn’t particularly strong, though more than functionally serves to carry the characters through their development. The whole film echoes the issues of the 1950′s, with zombies taking the place of black Americans at the dawn of black civil rights. It also reflects the rise of consumerism (some other families have 6 zombies!)and is set perfectly in the time where the world conducted the first organ transplant and the space race started with the launch of Sputnik 1 and Explorer 1.

The zombies in Fido are the traditional Romero zombies; slow, with a modicum of intelligence and will chew on you if given half a chance. These zombies however seem to retain some of their feelings being able to be upset and show love and loyalty to their human ‘masters’. That said don’t expect to be seeing a lot of blood and guts, the zombies (Connolly in particular) are merely painted grey rather than decomposing and other fresher zombies simply have a couple of veins drawn on and some nasty false teeth.

Fido is a hard film to sum up. There’s a lack of belly laughs though more than enough humour to crack a smile, making it hard to recommend as a pure comedy. There’s no gore, guts or menacing bad guy to sell it to horror oriented fans and there’s no survivalist element to recommend it to those that like their post-apocalyptic movies.

That said it is an entertaining film, one that just happens to have zombies. Decent performances from all of the cast, a functional story and likeable characters (even the zombies) makes this a refreshingly different film to have in your collection and one that almost all the family can watch, though the ratings vary wildly from a French U – suitable for all – to a US R – restricted!

If you liked Shaun of the Dead and aren’t looking for shocks, screams or explicit violence then this is a pretty good was to get your daily zombie intake.

Upon entry to this screening we had our temperatures taken by masked doctors flanked by big guys in hazmat suits with machine guns. We were then tagged with plastic, hospital style bracelets before being escorted to a bar completely covered in plastic sheeting and reverberating from a disconcerting, low frequency sound. A (free, WOO) drink later we entered the cinema and took our seats. Another doctor, with an armed guard, ran to the front of the screen to tell us that due to the events taking place outside we were to be quarantined in this room for our own safety. And not to panic. Then it was on with the show.

Though I am not (by any means) a fan of remakes and (by all means) a huge fan of St. George of Romero, I have never been awfully precious about the ’73 version. In fact I would probably go so far as to say this MAY be one of the FEW instances when a remake is PERHAPS justified. It’s a great concept, and one with a lot of mileage not put on the meter in the original. And this was good, pretty damn good – I think my immediate twitter response was actually “pretty rad”.

I won’t spoil a thing, but there are a lot of very well done set pieces. They’re atmospheric, well shot, exciting and always with a little touch of “Oh nice, I wasn’t expecting that” (you’ll like the knifey-hand). And it doesn’t really let up. For the most part, it cracks along at pace, barely pausing for breath. Although it does. Twice. Only for a few minutes, but these periods are a bit dull. Although ordinarily you may not even notice, they are perhaps a victim of the rest of the film being so fast and lean.

It’s well written too. The script is nice and tight, there’s nothing extraneous and to the best of my recollection everything pays off. There are some killer lines too, for example:

I won’t tell you why I need to go back for my wife. And you don’t have to tell me how you can leave without yours.

The sound design, in particular, also stands out. Metallic scraping, slow, heavy footsteps, silence and maniacal laughter all add a lot to the films effectiveness and it’s something commonly overlooked. It doesn’t pull any punches either. The violence is fast, bloody, nasty and pretty inventive at times. And people are mean. And people make tough decisions. And with no “Oh should I, shouldn’t I? Oh the humanity!” faff either.

The bad? Rhada Mitchell is weak. It’s a decent enough part she just plays it like a wet, annoying noodle. In fact at one point Olyphant gives her a “magic road” rant and instead of suspecting he had the crazy I wanted to applaud him for telling her to knock it off.

Cheap scares? Yep, sorry, there’s a bunch. The over reliance on using a musical sting or character appearing out of thin air to give you a jump wears a le-e-e-tle thin. I was actually beginning to wonder if there would be a twist at the end revealing Olyphant’s character is actually a magician (or a ninja). He materializes, as if from nowhere, three times!

Bottom line though, I highly recommend it. It’s exciting, thrilling and at times chilling (though that may have been enhanced by the sub-Arctic air-con). Go, enjoy and keep your eyes peeled for Uncle George’s shout-out.

You can find out more about the film on the official site.

Don’t believe me, check it out.

Survival of the Dead is set during the same time period as Diary of the Dead and brings back ‘Sarge’ aka ‘Colonel’ aka ‘Nicotine’ Crocket (Alan Van Sprang), as the soldier who robbed the Diary protagonists. It also features Devon Bostick as an unnamed character but who isn’t reprising the same role he had in Land of the Dead.

The story focuses on a feud between the O’Flynn and Muldoon families on Plum Island, off the coast of Delaware. As the dead come back to life the O’Flynns put them out of their misery one at a time, but the Muldoons want to keep them ‘alive’ to try and find the cure. Ultimately the O’Flynn’s lose and head back to the mainland where they trick refugees into heading over to the island claiming it’s safe.

Once Sarge and the rest of his unit hear O’Flynns call it’s not long before they go to the island to find that it’s not quite as peaceful as they’ve been led to believe. As the perils of trying to control zombies once again becomes apparent, will the stubborness of the family heads prevent anybody getting off the island alive and who was right?

Survival of the Dead was the second film shown at the London Frightfest all nighter and I was expecting it to be a mere time filler between Umbrage and Paranormal Activity but have to admit that, while not a return to his pre-Land days, Survival of the Dead does enough justice to his legacy to make it a perfectly acceptable addition and was much more enjoyable than I was expecting.

Perhaps it’s because I’m more used to some ultra low-budget films these days but Survival of the Dead looked and felt like a much bigger budget film than I suspect it was, the small-ish cast and tight locations no doubt helping to make what was there a much more acceptable quality. Where the film did let itself down though was with an overuse of CGI blood. Exploding heads and blood splatters added in post production are no match for doing it on the day.

Despite the characters being a little sterotyped and unchanging throughout (with so much happening you’d think they’d have some sort of development) the film works because of the tightness of the story in relation to the events that you know are happening off-screen around the world. This is another intimate view of life for a select group of people near the start of the zombocalypse, it worked for Night, it worked for Dawn and it works here.

That said, beware that Romero does move his zombie world forward and the zombies are smarter than they have been before. They are able to ride horses, post mail and are much less dangerous than previously; it’s almost as if Romero himself doesn’t take the genre seriously but forgets that without the backdrop of his films then parodies are much less likely to work.

Survival of the Dead is the first OTD film that Romero hasn’t specifically had a social or political reason for doing in his mind while filming and as such it plays out much more like a Western than his previous films (no bad thing considering where they were going). Despite this it’s hard not to draw parallels with the various resource crisis’ happening in today’s world, such as wars over oil or the genocide attempts in Darfur.

This film in no way deserves the low ratings being given to it by many critics and while it has it’s flaws Zombie Command can unreservedly recommend a George A. Romero film for the first time in 30 years!

Sinister looking Dr. Inugami Sukekiyo (Yasutaka Tsutsui), who first discovered the phenomenon, is working to find out not only what causes the country’s nubiles to become the undead but is also trying to find a solution. In response to the disaster, the Japanese government hastily created the “Romero Repeat Kill Squad” to handle the Stacies and dissect them into exactly 165 separate pieces (the only way to truly kill a Stacy). By law, only loved ones and Re-Kill troops are allowed to kill a Stacy.

Lonesome puppet creator Shibukawa (Toshinori Omi) meets Eiko (Natsuki Kato) on his way to his workshop. Eiko, who is in a seemingly constant state of NDH (Near Death Happiness) talks Shibu into being the man to Re-Kill her when the curse gets a hold of her. Soon a romance blossoms between the two and they spend what’s left of Eiko’s time on Earth (as a human at least) together.

Meanwhile Dr. Sukekiyo has found that the BTP (Butterfly Twinkle Powder) that covers the zombies bodies after reanimation is someone behind it all.

As is often the case with Japanese zombie movies (in my experience at least), ‘Stacy’ is quite mad. The plot is cigarette-paper thin but the film is essential an 80 minute blood-soaked piece of brainless fun. The acting is poor, the cinematography is amateurish (one scene feels like it’s filmed in someone’s living room) and the effects – although gruesome and plentiful – leave a little to be desired. There is plenty wrong with this movie, yet somehow it is strangely entertaining.

The film is crammed to the hilt with references to its zombie movie predecessors; such as the lightweight chainsaw dubbed “Bruce Campbell’s Right Hand 2”, the aforementioned “Romero Re-Kill Squad” and a couple of very obvious and blatant references to the “…of the Dead” movies.

If you are prepared to check your brain at the door and are happiest when watching (a lot of) blood, guts and spines adorn the screen then I think you’ll get a real kick out of ‘Stacy’. Having a few hundred Japanese schoolgirls running around for the duration of the film doesn’t hurt either!

6 out of 10 Zombie Fingers

A group of zombies walk out of their graves and head back home in this intriguing French film directed by Robin Campillo. Relatives of the undead aren’t quite sure what to do with their returning loved ones, and neither is the government — so the zombies are placed in emergency housing while authorities figure out what their role in society will be. Meanwhile, the ghouls are secretly going around conducting a little business of their own.

Sounds like an interesting movie, right? Well, its not exactly your run-of-the-mill zombie flick. If I had bothered to read the user reviews, I would have caught on to this earlier, however, I didn’t read them; the idea of French zombies in emergency housing was enough for me. All that being said, I did enjoy this movie and found it to be quite thought provoking. But you’d be wise to note that these are not your stereotypical shambling undead; they’re a little different.

The movie wastes no time in releasing the undead hordes. The first scene is a wide shot of a cemetery, with hundreds of the living dead streaming out from the front gates. They are dressed pristinely, with very light, crisp colors, mostly off-shades of white. My guess is this was done for a stark, dramatic impact at the beginning of the film and to keep the viewer from confusing who is living and who is a zombie. (Or perhaps the French bury their dead in white? You tell me.) They are not rotting, they are not moaning and they are not shambling. Its very hard to distinguish the undead from the living by physical appearance alone. The only immediate signs that they are undead is a look that could be viewed as either dazed or completely calm. There are no real emotions that play across their faces.

The return lasts for two hours, at which point the undead inexplicably cease rising. The ones who have risen are those that have died within the last 10 years and are mostly senior citizens. They still retain memory of their previous lives and have the ability to communicate and participate in regular physical activities. An important distinction between these zombies and the ones you typically expect: they do not eat the living. They eat regular food and drink just like the living. In fact, aside from initially being a little slow in movement, they appear just like everyone else. They do have a slightly lower body temperature, which is detectable using thermoscanners. Weather balloons with thermoscanning cameras are set up above the cities in order to track the ‘migratory patterns’ of the undead.

It is estimated that approximately 70 million of the previously deceased have returned worldwide. In order to accommodate the new (old?) citizens, shelters are set up to house them and to help reunite them with their families. There is a particular scene that stuck out for me, where a young woman is presented with her undead baby. You can see that she’s disbelieving and seems unsure what to do. I imagine a mother who has lost her child would pray for the return of that baby. And now here she is, her prayers have been answered, but what does it mean and how does she cope? Her reaction appears not uncommon as people seem divided about how to feel. Some seem incredibly excited about the return of their loved ones while others are wary and not immediately inclined to be reunited with their departed family members.

The zombies are considered to have the same rights as when they were among the living, including the right to earn a living. This brings about an interesting dilemma: what do you do with 70 million unemployed zombies? Sure, a great deal of them were senior citizens, so they won’t need jobs, but what about their pensions, will those be reinstated? And something else to consider: will they ever ‘die’ again or will anyone else ever die again? If not, then when do those monies stop? And something else that I wondered about: life insurance. Chew on the impact to that industry for a bit.

Immediately after their return, the undead were somewhat slow and took a little while to relearn basic functions and abilities, but those returned eventually. For those that returned to work, they seemed to adjust and learn quicker. It is proposed that they undead are able to function due something called the Echo & Memory Theory. Its not that they are cognitively the same as they were that they are able to function, but more that their brains remember the abilities and use personal memories in order to understand how to react in a given situation and in a given environment. They appear no longer capable of crafting new ideas. Or can they….?

If you plan to see the movie, then don’t expand the spoilers below as I reveal some of the ending.

The thermoscanning cameras record that the undead do not sleep and seem to meet up regularly each night, at which point, things get a little more interesting. They also seem impervious to infection and appear to be in better health than the living. So what does all this mean? Well, let’s just say that midnight meetings of the super-healthy undead are never a good thing. Past that interesting plot point, things start to get a little confusing.

Without giving away exactly the result of the undead meetings, I will reveal that the ‘climax’ of the movie made absolutely zero sense to me. It was interesting and it was suspenseful, but it was confusing. It made no sense to me why the dead would return from the grave to do what they did. It made no sense to me that they did it in the way that they did. Did I mention that it made no sense?

I can’t say anything more about this part of the movie without giving away the ending, so instead, I’m going to move into some things that occurred to me during the movie. I mentioned that it was a thought provoking film, and indeed, They Came Back made me think of a few logistics that would be a little askew should the dead come back from the grave. First, recall the baby that I mentioned in the beginning of this review: how did it get out of the graveyard? When we first encounter the undead leaving the cemetery, they are all walking straight out, not interacting with each other, not helping each other, no one is helping them, so how did the baby manage to get to a place where it was rounded up to be reunited with its mother? Another thing that occurred to me was that if undead can talk, how swiftly did the police track down those that were murdered and question them about who committed the crime? I imagine that if one thought a person they planned to murder might come from back from the dead, seeing as that everyone else already has, one might not be so quick to kill. The undead came out of the cemetery pristine and looking no worse for the wear. Plus, when in the emergency shelters, they are said to be in better health than expected, which I take to mean blood is flowing and pumping through the veins, otherwise, doctors would have certainly made note of that in their rounds. So does this mean that the embalming process reversed itself somehow? And what about those who were killed by traumatic events like a car wreck? Where were the walking wounded? Then again, I guess I could just realize that the dead just came back and started walking around, so logical explanations shouldn’t really be expected.

They Came Back, while not what I was initially expecting, turned out to be a good movie and worth the time to watch it. For those who want the standard zombie movie or prefer to have their undead eating human flesh, this movie is not for you. For those that enjoy stepping outside of the norm with their zombie films, you just may enjoy the questions that this movie will inspire.

The story follows ‘Columbus’ (Eisenberg), an assumed name based on his home town and so called because it’s important not to become too attached to other people (see Rule #7 – Travel Light), who despite being an almost agrophobic geek has stayed alive when the rest of the world turned to zombie around him because he follows a set of rules. On the way back to Ohio to see if his parents are alive, he meets up with ‘Tallahassee’ (Harrelson) who’s survived by simply being a badass zombie killer and they agree to travel together for a time. Tallahassee has one weakness though.

Despite the fact everybody thinks Twinkies last forever (thanks to being made purely out of additives and colourings I assume) they actual do have an expiry date (about 25 days since you asked) so the pair detour into an out of town grocery store to find what may be the last box of Twinkies every to be enjoyed by man. After clearing out the store the guys meet ‘Wichita’ (Stone) and her little sister ‘Little Rock’ (Breslin) who set up a con to relieve the guys of the equipment and car.

The guys eventually catch up with the girls and, after a stand-off of sorts, agree to travel together. Wichita is taking Little Rock to an amusement park they once went to; with no other family it was the last place they were happy together and they’ve heard that there are no zombies out there. The movie then continues it’s amusing road trip (complete with that cameo you may have heard about) before the group split up again, but as you can imagine the lights and sounds of an amusement park are bound to attract some zombie attention…

Zombieland writers Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese initially conceived Zombieland as a TV pilot but after taking it to CBS and subsequently everyone else back in 2005, nobody was willing to make it as a show. So they worked on it a bit more and produced the film script that is now Zombieland… and I’m glad they did.

Zombieland is great fun from start to finish, packed full of humerous scenes and witty dialogue but not in the same forced way Diablo Cody, all the laughs are natural and at times hilarious. The movie drops your right into the action with Columbus avoiding zombies by following his rules.

The rules themselves are both a comic and visual treat, appearing right in amongst the action while conveying exactly why the rule came about. There are at least 32 rules but we only see about a dozen, betraying slightly it’s TV origin, though with a sequel heavily hinted at (not in the movie, it’s wrapped up quite satisfactorily, but in interviews) then hopefully we’ll eventually see them all.

The zombies themselves are convincing, great make-up and are played right, as just a mindless danger to set the story off against. The casting is brilliant and while much is made of Harrelson’s return to form, this could be the role that sees Eisenberg step out from Michael Cera’s shadow.

While the story is fairly light (though action, romance and comedy are all in there) the only ‘horror’ film Paul Wernick had seen before was actually Shaun of the Dead and this perhaps helped him and Reese avoid any genre conventions of stupid mistakes by the characters.

While it’s not perfect, I can’t recommend Zombieland enough, it delivered a laugh out loud comedy that I decided to buy when it was out as soon as I left the cinema. Go see it!

Set pic courtesy of KGLucas.

Something peculiar is happening on the streets and subways of Manhattan. Rats are attacking and biting people, infecting them with a mysterious virus that is quickly spreading throughout the city. Clutch (the films co-writer, Nick Damici) and the residents of his run-down, Mulberry Street apartment block must stick together to survive in this indie horror thriller.

Set in the lower East side, the film revolves around Clutch, an aging former boxer and single dad who is preparing for his daughter’s return from service in the Middle East. The news starts to report incidences of people being bitten and hospitalised by rats on the subway. Those bitten are going through a bizarre metamorphosis.

Meanwhile the building’s Superintendent, Ross (Tim House), who is desperately trying to keep the derelict apartment block on its feet as the power fails and the water supply falters, is bitten by an infected rat. It’s not long before the virus takes hold and Ross starts to turn into one of the creatures that have begun plaguing the city.

Across town, Clutch’s daughter Casey (Kim Blair) is unaware of what is happening on the streets of New York and is desperately trying to get home to her father after returning to America and being discharged from the veterans wing of a hospital. Clutch is not only concerned for the safety of his daughter but also for potential love interest Kay (Bo Corre) and sets out to rescue her from her workplace. It is in the chaos ridden streets that Clutch and Casey are reunited and head back to the perceived safety and familiarity of Mulberry Street.

Let’s get one thing out of the way. Mulberry Street is not a zombie movie.

There is much debate over what constitutes a ‘zombie’ and films such as 28 Days Later, of which Mulberry Street can be compared to, are about infected humans (aka ‘Fast Zombies’) rather than your typical ‘living dead’ type of zombie.
“So if it’s not a zombie movie, why is it being reviewed on ZombieCommand?” I hear you ask. Well, any readers in the UK that head into their local DVD retailer won’t find this title under ‘M’, but rather under ‘Z’. The UK DVD title is “Zombie Virus on Mulberry Street”. In this reviewer’s opinion, that title is misleading at best, but this isn’t the place to continue the ‘what constitutes a zombie’ debate.

Despite a distinct lack of the living dead, Mulberry Street is clearly heavily influenced by the zombie movies that have gone before it. I’ve already mentioned 28 Days Later and throughout the movie there are elements of social commentary, a la George A Romero; references to 9/11, terrorism, the war in Iraq and a subtle jab at former US President, George Bush Jr. Fortunately the film isn’t bogged down in political awareness and doesn’t try to ram these elements down the throat of the viewer. I also felt there was another commentary about the break up ‘community’ with the residents given an eviction notice and the block ready to be torn down in place of shiny new development. But perhaps I was reading a little too much into it. There is also a scene towards the end that is very reminiscent of a Night of The Living Dead scene, but I won’t spoil it for you.

Like many movies in the genre, Mulberry Street is shot on a shoestring budget. However, unlike many movies in the genre, that fact isn’t obvious. Sure the movie lacks the quality effects and CGI of its bigger-budgeted peers, but the most appealing factor of this movie has nothing to do with camera trickery, elaborate make-up or video editing. The thing that really stuck with me throughout was the sense of community and ‘real-life’ created by the actors and film makers. Often I felt like I was watching real people going about their real lives rather than actors playing parts. In fact, I think if I’d sat through a movie about these resident’s lives and their struggles I would have enjoyed it as much, or perhaps even more.

Having mentioned the effects, or lack there of, a review wouldn’t be complete without mention of the ‘rat-men’ creatures or ‘Wererats’. Personally, I couldn’t stand them. In comparison to other movies, the make-up is fairly decent I suppose, but I was skeptical when we were first treated to a glimpse of some hairy ears – so you can imagine my cynicism when presented with a human rat thing in all its pointy toothed glory. Some reviews hail the inclusion of rats as imaginative, but I would have much rather they were good old fashioned zombies/infected people.

Mulberry Street is an enjoyable experience if only for the way in which the writing and direction captures a real feeling of community and creates like-able characters that you care about. As a Horror flick it’s a touch formulaic and doesn’t really tread new ground, most importantly it’s not particularly scary or thrilling. All that taken into account, Mulberry Street is an endearing little movie, light on zombies but big on heart.

7 out of 10 Zombie Fingers

Fujio and Mitsuo are friends, cohabitants and colleagues who work (or rather, slack off) at a fire extinguisher factory. It is here that their journey begins.

A work-place Jujitsu training session is interrupted by the factory manager who proceeds to take his frustrations out on the follicly challenged Mitsuo. Fujio comes to his rescue but accidentally murders his boss. In order to avoid prosecution, they load the body into their van and head off to Black Fuji, a man-made mountain of waste that resides just outside of town, to dispose of the body. What they didn’t bank on was the vast quantities of chemical waste reanimating all the other bodies buried on the mountain.

They hit the road, heading north, fleeing the infested Tokyo. Along the way they ‘rescue’ Yoko (Erika Okuda) from a convenience store. During this daring rescue, Mitsuo gets nibbled on by one of the undead and, fearing he too will turn into a zombie, throws himself off of a bridge (inclusive of comedy sound effect) into the murky waters below.

Fast forward 5 years and a sense of order has returned to Tokyo. The wealthy have built a walled city within the city; where the rich are comfortable, the poor are slaves and the zombies are entertainment. Fujio must put his Jujitsu training to good use in order to survive and keep alive the memory of his fallen comrade.

Tokyo Zombie is a bizarre little movie. It’s clear that it draws some inspiration from the works of Takeshi Miike but it falls short of the quality of his films. For a zombie movie there is a distinct lack of zombies and a minimal amount of gore, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but this film needed it. Also, for a comedy, I would expect a few more laughs. Don’t get me wrong, there where times when I laughed (I might even stretch to ‘out loud’) but they were few and far between and weren’t enough to compensate for the time spent staring stony-faced at the screen. I can only assume that some elements get lost in translation.

The film started promisingly enough; within the first half an hour we’d had murder, a decapitation, 2 perverts and a lady zombie that munched on something a lot further down than a man’s brain (ladies – you can make your own jokes!). However it wasn’t long before the fun subsided. The plot is spread very thinly over 100+ minutes and I had trouble recounting the story for the purpose of this review – it was that memorable. There is a cool little animated scene mid-movie that recounts the building of the walled city. This is probably one of the better parts of the movie and the quirky animation style is quite aesthetically pleasing.

Tokyo Zombie, in title alone, promises a lot however it delivers little. When watching a Zombie Comedy I’d hope for both zombies and comedy and, in this reviewer’s opinion, this film had little of either. There are those that will disagree with me, there are many favourable comments floating around the Interweb for this movie, but Tokyo Zombie is bad – and not ‘so bad it’s good’ – just bad.

4 out of 10 Zombie Fingers

The story revolves around a circus-style stage show featuring compère Johnny Dee Hellfire (Seymour Leon Mace), Pervo the Clown (Warren Speed), midget strongman Zeus (Peter Bonner) and rocker Skye Brannigan (Victoria Hopkins) among others, who are all invited to appear on a TV show for the web. However, presenter Tycho Zander (Christian Steel) and his family have a dark secret involving cults of beautiful young women and experimentation with the undead.

Skye Brannigan discovers that this is where her lost sister is being held just as the ‘kool-aid’ is drunk and the whole cult turn into zombies as the performers have to rescue Skye’s sister, avoid the zombies and make it back out in one piece. It’s clowns, midgets and singers vs cults and zombies in a battle to the death.

ZWOS was another definitely British offering put on show by the organisers of Frightfest but suffers from being the trashiest film I’ve possibly ever seen. The tag line gives you some sort of idea what sort of misogynistic exploitation you’re in for with

It Really Was the Wrong Time of the Month!

Oh dear.

Insincere/unnecessary/just plain weird characters, ridiculous plot devices, no thought toilet humour with jokes replaced by swearing make ZWOS very hard to recommend. The whole thing is really too much. Which is a shame, as if it were slightly scaled back (don’t have the zombies bleed from nipples and vagoos and definitely no pointless zombie rape), the movie was actually quite good fun.

I appreciate not everybody is going to laugh along at the ‘lads telling gay jokes’ humour but some of the quips were good and for those that do the banter between Pervo the Clown and Johnny Dee Hellfire are at times, brilliant.

This film split a lot of the Frightfesters who were in attendance early Monday morning, but by split I mean half thought it was the worst film they’d ever seen and the other half thought it was alright. It’s certainly more of a meh/hate relationship you’ll have with this film. I was in the top end of the meh camp having not really expected much in the first place.

Overall it passed a Monday morning in the cinema but Zombie Women of Satan isn’t a film I’m going to be revisiting any time soon, that said It’s almost worth it to see @marysiak painted into those trousers again…