Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive is the first book from How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse‘s head honcho (and titular) Dr Dale. In it Dr. Dale tries to cover everything you’ve ever wanted to know about how the zombocalypse and gives us a glimpse into one of the most brilliant zombie-focused minds of our generation*

As the title suggests, items and ideas in the Zombie Dictionary are organised by the letter they begin with (in case you’re unfamiliar with what a dictionary is), starting with Aardvark and ending with Zoos. Obviously it doesn’t cover every word beginning with each letter, but armed with the knowledge of a hundred zombie movies and unlimited access to Wikipedia, Dr Dale has covered a wide variety of things that will keep you alive when the zombies rise.

An example of the topics covered from the sublime

CURE
There is no cure. Once you are bitten you become a zombie. So stop thinking there is a cure, because there isn’t. Even if there is, you need to think there isn’t. Because thinking there’s a cure will give you hope and hope will make you weak and weakness will make you lose and losing means you die and dying means you rise and rising means you become a zombie – for which there is no cure. So stop thinking there’s a cure because that will give you hope and hope will make you weak and… You get the message – THERE IS NO CURE!

to the ridiculous

Kangaroo
For those who think it’s possible, you cannot hide in the pouch of a kangaroo. You won’t fit, the zombies will still get you and the kangaroo probably won’t be pleased either.

The pages are also accompanied with hundreds of illustrations to highlight Dr Dale’s points. And since you were wondering…

If I have any complaints about the book it would be that it is sometimes overly Anglo-centric; I’m not sure if many of non-UK readers have ever seen an episode of chav chat show, Jeremy Kyle or know who Lorraine Kelly is. That said with over 300 pages and at least as many entries there is a lot to learn here that anybody worried about zombies can enjoy.

Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive is available now from Amazon UK and Waterstones.

*A quote that proudly sits on the inside cover. We didn’t make the front :(

Readers of Zombie Command can get £3 off the list price of Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive at Waterstones by using code

BY9274

I love The Beatles. I love zombies. A book about zombie Beatles means that I should love it doubly, correct?

Paul Is Undead, by Alan Goldsher, is a book about how music and history would have been different should The Beatles have been zombies. Written as a collection of first-hand accounts from players in The Beatles’ (un)lives, it’s not so much a narrative story as a series of events and interviews, playing out like a documentary, hopping back and forth between people who detail out how one thing led to another.

I’m not really certain what I expected from Paul is Undead, just not… this. I don’t really know how to describe ‘this’, but I guess I expected the story of the Beatles with a slight zombie twist. There is nothing ‘slight’ about the zombie twist in this book. The author has taken The Beatles we know (or at least we think we know) and has turned them into something wholly different.

Yes, it’s about zombie Beatles, however Goldsher has taken his artistic license too far totally reworked every other aspect as well. With a book about pop culture icons, like The Beatles, there is a certain expectation of what you will read; even being zombies shouldn’t completely negate that. I feel that if all other things were to remain intact and Goldsher should have just sort of worked the quirkiness of their reanimation into the story we already know. It’s possible he tried to do that, but the way in which he did it failed to resonate with me.

Not having known The Beatles personally, they could all have been a bunch of assholes with no real deep thoughts, the way this book makes them out. They come across as a band of jerks who just want to suck brains and take over the world, literally. Their reaction and solution for every event in their un-lives is to wreak havoc and kill and destroy.

Every big event in the history of The Beatles revolves around them violently killing tons of people, or hypnotizing them into slaves to kill for them, or just pulling each other’s limbs off. As a cognitively functioning zombie I imagine there would be a time where you’d want to let loose and resort to your baser instincts, but that is their answer for EVERYTHING in this book.

It just got old and seemed really childish. The descriptions of some of their antics felt like they were written by a 5th grade boy (i.e. flying limbs, ankle deep blood, guitars made of sloughed off skin). It was just way over the top and more than a little disappointing for me.

The author didn’t stop with adding zombies to the mix. An eclectic mix of paranormal/fantastical creatures litter this book. Some of your other favorite artists are other worldly, for example, Roy Orbison and his mystical sunglasses. The author even ‘interviews’ vampires and werewolves and yes, he manages to score interviews with Satan and Jesus. Yeah…still not sure how I feel about all of those…

Besides loving zombies and The Beatles, I’m also a lover of trivia, especially obscure trivia. For me, this is the saving grace of this book. Those who think they know every trivial thing about the Beatles and the music scene of the 1960’s will enjoy the trivia strewn throughout the book. Everyone you can think of that has touched the lives of The Beatles is mentioned and interviewed, including but not limited to: Stu Sutcliffe, Pete Best, Neil Aspinall, George Martin, Brian Epstein and Richard Lester. Not just people, but events as well are mentioned, i.e. Shea Stadium, visiting the Maharishi, filming Hard Days Night, etc. And while a little cheesy, names of songs are worked into basic conversation, such as “he suggested we make a meal out of dear Prudence”. These moments are a little eye-roll inducing, but fun and I can forgive them since they were usually worked in under the radar.

I really wanted to love Paul Is Undead. When I first learned of it I thought I had died and gone to heaven; someone was putting together two of my favorite things! Alas, the book fell short of my expectations. Though, to be honest, I can’t really tell you what I expected, just, well…I guess I just figured with two such fantastic topics married in one book surely to goodness this would be the zombie book to end all zombie books! It’s just a shame it didn’t turn out that way.

You can find out more about Paul is Undead on Facebook and it will be released on June 22nd.

The DIY Guide To Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse opens with a look into zombie biology and, instead of saying specifically what will cause the outbreak, classifies any number of possibilities of zombism as a catch all Zombie Transforming Agent (ZTA). What they are clear about though is that zombies are dead or at least undead. No 28 Days Later Rage infected humans to worry about in this version.

The bulk of the book isn’t filled with hard, fast rules but rather suggestions on how to think for yourself: planning, the types of people you want to surround yourself with (or avoid), an example outbreak, a decent cookbook and a list of resources to help you train in the skills you’ll need when the uprising begins. Thinking on your feet is going to be much more valuable to you than only having one way out. Think about it, MacGuyver will probably do quite well when the zombies come.

Despite this early version still missing many images there are descriptions for them and the many that are already there really illustrate the points being made. Every page is interesting to look at and Mark Stegbauer’s style really suits the book.

There are however a few issues with The DIY Guide To Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse.

The description of zombie physiology and zombie behaviour is well rationalised though lacks any real scientific analysis ‘bite’ behind it, pushing it into the same realms of fantasy as the Zombie Survival Guide. There is also discussion of the ‘soul’ and spiritual side of zombies and, despite making it clear that there is no longer any spirit, detracts from any scientific credibility they may have earned from their thought process.

Also, while it’s is a fun and informative read it’s not really the sort of survival guide you’ll be clinging onto while evading those newly risen. It’s the sort of thing you’ll read over to get clear in your head but then more than likely carry one of the suggested books in the appendices in your bug out bag.

That said it is well worth a read, even for those who think they know it all as you’re only really prepared when you’re prepared for your plan to go horribly wrong.

You can join the official Facebook group for further discussion and to be kept up to date on it’s release in July.

Here’s the plot: Cheryl is about to get married to the man of her dreams when the zombie apocalypse erupts and threatens to put stop to her wedding day. She and members of her wedding party fight through the relentless undead and the crazy living in order to rescue her groom. Chaos, insanity and hilarity ensue.

As I was reading, I could tell how much of a genre fan the author is and that this was a work of love. It’s like fan fiction at its best. The book is not very long and is a fairly quick read. Normally this is a draw-back for me, but with the pace of the writing (details to come), it worked perfectly. I don’t think the author could have made it longer and made it feel the same.

As I stated earlier, there are some cliché aspects to this book, i.e. an electronics brand called Savini, a character named Romero and not-so-veiled allusions to scenes from popular zombie films. But what makes this okay and not eye-roll-inducing is that the writing style is catchy, fun and it draws you in immediately. The style is almost frenetic and schitzophrenic. It’s completely irreverent, at times corny and it bounces all over the place. It’s like a zombie novel for those with Attention Deficit Disorder. For some, this may not work, but I absolutely love this sort of writing style and I totally ate it up.

Something I really liked about this story was that not only did the author follow the primary characters, but he would often do aside chapters on characters completely unrelated to the main plot. These characters would have nothing to do with anything else, except it was just plain fun to learn how their day started, and typically, abruptly ended when a zombie did them in. Another great aspect is that we also get to read what’s going on from the zombies’ perspectives. Turns out those moans and groans are translatable and we get to read into their communications. Zombies are actually pretty damn witty, to be quite honest.

The whole book was a delight to read and I can’t wait to see what the author comes up with next. I will leave you with an excerpt describing the global apocalypse that made me laugh out loud and pretty much sums up the writing style of the book:

Zombies staggered around the Eiffel Tower, wearing black and white striped shirts, berets and red ascots. The undead, wearing suits and bowler hats, umbrellas tucked under their arms mingled under Big Ben as it chimed the hour. Aussies were standing on their roofs, throwing boomerangs, jars of Vegemite and pieces of Skylab at the ghouls who tried to get them.

Go read this book!

The book is small, about the size of a tiny address book. which makes it perfect for carrying around as a quick reference in case you bump into the undead and need to brush up. A great amount of detail was put into the look of the CM. It has the appearance and feel of an old-time journal, with spots for notes and fold out maps. The illustrations look as though they were pulled from someone sketching in the field.

The CM content is written as a reference manual on zombies, basically commentary on the history of the undead and cultural takes regarding dealing with them along with zombie indicators and identifiers, funerary customs and the like. It is very easy to read, as it’s laid out much like the “For Dummies” series of books, with information given in brief chunks for easy digestion. The information is definitely interesting (I really enjoyed the section on Haitian voodoo zombie history), but the writing style was a bit jumpy. It would switch between being written in a style of a serious source on the unead to making random comical asides.

I’m a fan of humor, but it didn’t seem to work with the way the book was being presented. The writing style and the look/feel of the book as a whole didn’t seem to jive. It would have been better to have maybe one bit of humor, but make an effort to sell the book as an authentic monster journal to be taken seriously.

I enjoyed the book as a quick read, although it was a little too quick of a read. Because of its size, both physical and content length, I would not have purchased this for myself unless it was on sale. That’s not to say it isn’t entertaining and doesn’t have its place. I think it would make a great stocking stuffer or a gift for one of the early days of Hannukah. It’s a good quick gift for someone that you know likes horror or monsters and you’re just not sure what to get them.

The format of the book is similar to the popular Zombie Survival Guide, broken down into themed sections like weapons, fighting techniques and zombie anatomy. Each section also has topically themed first-hand eyewitness accounts, called Combat Reports, from survivors of the undead outbreaks, which are by far my favourite part.

These accounts are the ‘where were you when when the zombocalypse happened’ tales of the survivors’; recounting how they realised what was happening in the early stages and how they managed to survive the undead onset while avoiding fatal mistakes. The stories in TZCM are well written and well researched, specifically with regard to both the personal and professional background of each character and their specific environments. In more than one story, I found myself impressed with how thoroughly the author explained scientific or industrial concepts and really fleshed them out in order to explain how some things did or did not work.

I won’t go into each section individually but instead focus on those where I found information that was new and fresh. In ‘Disinformation and Misconceptions’ there is a breakdown of common misconceptions of the undead that, if not corrected, can lead to a very unwelcome outcome. For instance, there is the idea that the best way to neutralize a zombie is through the use of a firearm. While this is the most effective way, its by no means the most practical.

In the next section, we learn about zombie anatomy. The Zombie Combat Manual introduces some new undead anatomical concepts. We learn that once reanimation has occurred there is a change in make-up of the teeth of a zombie, a change that makes them that much more vicious. Also highlighted is the smell that emanates from a zombie. The smell of a fetid, rotting corpse can be just as debilitating as one actually grabbing hold of you. Stock up on your nose plugs now, as these seem to be an often overlooked weapon in the fight against the undead.

Also discussed is the physical fitness of the survivor. It may seem that those who are lean, mean, fitness machines would stand a better chance in fending off the undead. Well, TZCM has something to say about having your own personal stockpile of reserves (i.e. having a few extra pounds) as opposed to having a practically nil body mass index.

Probably the most interesting part of this book and something I’ve often thought about myself, though never seen in a zombie guide, is the section on ‘Child Protection’. This section details how current child/baby products like strollers, slings, backpacks, etc. will hold up in a zombie attack, retreat or going on the offence. The manual even gives details on what weapon is the best to use depending on the method you use to transport your child. There was also advice on how to pro-actively keep baby calm so as not to alert the undead of your whereabouts. As an expecting mother, this topic was of special interest to me.

While this book is similar to other how-to guides on the undead and does tackle some topics you’ve maybe encountered before, The Zombie Combat Manual is different enough to warrant going out and picking it up! It’s a fun read that offers new ideas and concepts that are both interesting and fresh to help you survive the zombocalypse and the very well written first-hand survivor accounts are a great read.

You can buy the book from Amazon below or find out more on the official site.

Win 1 of 50 PPZ:DoD prize packs!

You can win:

• A Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Journal
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Postcards
• Audio Books of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
• A copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
• A password redeemable online for sample audio chapters of Dawn of the Dreadfuls
• A Dawn of the Dreadfuls Poster

All you have to do is head to over to the official site and leave a comment saying that you read this review.
You have to register an account, but to make things easier you can just copy and paste this comment:
“I read the PPZ:DoD review at ZombieCommand.com, now give me stuff!”

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls opens as a funeral is interrupted by the recently ‘deceased’, Mr. Ford, who decides to bring the mourning to an abrupt end by climbing out of his casket. Thus begins the Bennet girls introduction to the world of zombies, better known in proper English terms as ‘dreadfuls’.

We find out that prior to marrying and being browbeaten by the intolerable Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Bennet was at one time renowned for his dreadful-slaying abilities and his service during a time in years gone by referred to as The Troubles. Following The Troubles, there was a lull in dreadfuls, to the extent that it was believed they were done for good, and people reverted back to conventional English propriety.

With the recently deceased rising again, Mr. Bennet wastes no time in returning his old dojo to full use (having been converted to a greenhouse by Mrs. Bennet) and summoning a martial arts master to train his beloved daughters against the inevitable onslaught of the undead. Elizabeth shows natural ability and excels in her dreadful-slaying studies, showing glimpses of the strong, defiant woman to come.

With the exception of Mr. Bennet’s revelations of his zombie-fighting past, the rest of the characters keep to the mould originally built by Jane Austen. There are introductions to a few new characters, mainly suitors which fawn over the Bennet girls. However, for those who’ve read either PPZ or the original version of Jane Austen’s novel, we know with whom Elizabeth ends up married. What happens to these new suitors? Well, I won’t reveal too much about them, I’ll let you read the book and find out for yourself!
PPZ:DoD reads differently to the initial PPZ. While PPZ took an existing work of fiction and added to it, this book is an entirely new story and though the author tries to mimic Jane Austen’s style it doesn’t flow in exactly the same way.

Were it not for the fact that the book pulls from the characters of PPZ and Jane Austen, this story could easily have stood on its own and perhaps would have been better for it as prequels don’t lend themselves to too many surprises or revelations. In my opinion, this is PPZ:DoD’s only drawback.

Granted, there are new characters, but ultimately fans of the first pretty much know how things pan out. Having a story where one already knows the ending is something that just doesn’t work well for me. If this book had been released as a zombie-themed book set in the Regency Period of Great Britain and not riding on the coattails of being part of PPZ, it would have done just fine as an ‘inspired by’ original work of fiction.

That said, I did enjoy the book and thought it a fun and easy read. It’s satirical and is quite tongue-in-cheek with humorous bits throughout. There’s not much gore though, so if large amounts of blood and guts is what you’re looking for, you best look elsewhere. This would make a great gift for friends who don’t quite get your zombie fascination, but on whom you still wish to push your agenda. They get their ‘classic work of fiction’, you get your zombie fix in. It’s a win-win situation!

The Dead have returned to life…

The worlds focus in on the city of Ravenswood and once idyllic town of Farmore, as soldiers and scattered survivors fight the hordes of the dead, unbeknown, one of them holds the key to end the undead’s reign of mayhem.

Meanwhile, at a body disposal plant a small group take shifts on the ‘deathwatch’. Their hope’s hinge on the soldiers of Farmore to rescue them. But with no contact for months, no food and surrounded by the dead, have they got what it takes to survive? With death at their door, only time can tell…

Zombie Command has managed to snag a look at the intro and first chapter from Welsh writer A. M. Esmonde’s forthcoming book and screenplay, Deathwatch. Esmonde’s previous work has included other genre pieces such as The Breathing Dead, Terminus and Blood Hunger (more about which can be found at his official site) and while this extract is still just a draft it’s shaping up to be a great zombie story in the style of Romero’s ‘of the Dead’ series.

INTRODUCTION
Zombies or re-animated corpses appear in many cultures worldwide and in different manifestations. Whether it is voodoo, folklore or in today’s pop culture, they are ultimately humans who lack full consciousness. Death has fascinated humans as long as life itself.

Ishtar the Babylonian goddess of fertility in an ancient decree supports this. As Ishtar approaches the gates of the underworld, she demands of the gatekeeper:

If thou openest not the gate to let me enter,
I will break the door, I will wrench the lock,
I will smash the doorposts, and I will force the doors.
I will bring up the dead to eat the living.
Moreover, the dead will outnumber the living.

How true Ishtar’s words were to become as this tale tells…

PART ONE: EPIDEMIOLOGY
At thirty knots and half-laden the USS Saturn cut through the Atlantic Ocean leaving behind a wash as far as the horizon causing a wonderful refraction of light upon the waves.

Accompanied by two Navy Seals, an African American, House and a thin compact framed Special Forces soldier named Finn sat in expectation on Marine three. The Direct Action Penetrator (DAP) helicopter gunship landed hard and the four men jumped onto the of the Saturn;s empty runway strips.

“It’s a ghost ship.” House whispered into his headset, as the team of four men armed with M-240 machine guns jogged along the length of the carrier. They separated speedily as they reached the end of the deck; House spun hard the circular lock on the watertight galvanised steel door and as it swung open he stepped into the darkness. Finn followed, descending the anodized aluminium and stainless steel stairwell on a 68 degree angled ladder.

The heavyset Air Craft handling officer seemed to smell House and the soldiers’ presence before hearing or seeing them. In death his senses were heightened. In a flash was upon one of the Navy Seals before he could get to his gun. In a frantic quick struggle the Navy Seal snapped the corpse’s neck, dropping the yellow clothed corpse to the grey painted corrugated floor. Taking a moment to get his breath back, he checked his weapon. From the shadows a man with what appeared to be a severe head injury, dressed in a blue plane handler uniform rushed at him, pushing him off balance. The second Seal took aim letting his machine gun erupt. The bullets however had no impact other than to send both men overboard, within seconds the two hit the water, the force knocked out any life either of them had left.

From the Mess Hall, a landing signal handler with most of his nose missing, the skin torn open and the cartilage in view dragged himself forward, his once white uniform now blood stained. He paused at the door, and then moved forward with a heavy limp. Cursing and focusing on the spot where his comrade once stood the Seal turned hearing the heavy dragging footsteps moving towards him. He began to walk backwards his footsteps clanking on the metal floor, never taking his eyes off the approaching enemy; he raised his gun squeezing the trigger, sending rounds into the sailor that was in pursuit. The dead eyed man continued forwards even with the force of the bullets tearing into his white uniform; bloody tissue, flesh and bone shards flicked up into the air. Suddenly, a door left of the Seal swung open and a skinny air wing captain caught his hand biting into his fingers.

House motioned to Finn to silence their radio communication.

“It’s a death ship,” Finn whispered.

House held up his hand silencing his colleague and spoke quietly into his radio, “Sierra November one, Sierra November two.” The radio crackled, followed by a gurgle and then a nasty lapping sound. House looked to Finn with a worried expression. Finn got on his radio.

“This is Foxtrot four. Code Delta, that’s D delta,” said Finn as he peered overboard and down the length of the ship. His eyes widened, as he saw land.

“We’re not going to stop this.” Inhaling deeply, House shook his head and glanced at his boots as the sea air filled his lungs.

“The ship?” queried Finn.

House exhaled, “No, the pandemic. This is it. Welcome to hell.” The carrier stirred to life, its dead crew and its harboured dead civilians came from everywhere like termites out of the woodwork, as if hiding in wait for a captive audience.

“We’re running out of time!” shouted House pointing to the shadows moving towards them from within the doorways.

“Air strike, code four abort!” Finn shouted into his radio.

“We gotta get outta here!” he said to House.

House and Finn didn’t hear the crisp reply as it came back to them over the radio, “We are unable to abort the strike, over.”

Assessing their surroundings for the approaching danger, they made a dash across the gangway towards the upper deck. “Chopper man, don’t you leave, don’t you damn leave.” House muttered under his breath.

The two remaining soldiers appeared to be miniscule to their colleagues in the helicopter that circled above them, as they ran parallel to the white and yellow painted lines across the vast deck. Their heavy boots stomped across the carrier followed closely by their dead assailants as they headed back towards the DAP.

Periodically they stopped and turned, kneeling they let off short bursts of fire. Finn turned to House, “Hell House if we don’t make it to the Black Hawk we’re toast!”

“It’s a DAP Huck.” House corrected smiling.

Finn laughed, “I’m under pressure here!”

“Trust me; we’ll be home in time for cornflakes Huckle Berry.” House quipped.

All too soon the advancing crowd seemingly multiplied in front of their eyes and their shots were futile in their effort to slow their advance. Making a final dash they jumped into the awaiting gunship that immediately lifted into the air.

The rotary blades of the DAP whirred in the dizzy heights of the fading clear sky, it banked sharply to the left as House looked down to witness an almighty crash below.

The huge mass of the carrier run aground against an out crop of rocks crushing hundreds of tonnes of metal, denting and splitting the ship’s hull sending its contents and dead occupants, smashing, soaring and plummeting in all directions. The USS Saturn began to take in gallons of water.

Inland the dead walked aimlessly up a sandy, pebbled stretch of beach, some waded into the sea towards the wreckage as if to greet their fellow dead as they walking off the high deck, tumbling overboard crashing into the choppy water. On the deck of the carrier many of the dead rose to their feet.

The sight of the huge carrier now grounded against the shore was surreal but as they moved away from the scene all House could reflect on was the aimless falling dead. Lemmings he thought.

Just then, two Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor fighter jets soared past the DAP. Relieved, the helicopters passengers looked on in
expectation as the two jets launched their arsenal of missiles raining down into the carrier.

Finn shook his head. “That was close.”

“Do you think we ever could have stopped it?” House brooded over the uncertainty.

“Who knows, but a couple of billion green-back just bit the dust,” replied Finn.

The two men lent back into the cabin of the DAP catching a final glimpse of the white seawater littered with bodies, pushing against the burning Saturn, as its decks, starboard and port continued to rupture and explode into the sea.

If ever there was a perfect, small, idyllic town, it was Farmore.

Its future shaped by a natural landslide in 1875, which kept the closest city of Ravenswood ten miles away. The only thing that marred Farmore, despite protests from residents, was a large prison situated five miles away that was built just before the boarder of the next county.

If you like what you read you can follow this and other Esmonde’s projects on Twitter, check out the official site or become a fan on Facebook.

Breathers is the dark comedy about un-life and love through the eyes of an ordinary zombie. You can buy the book from the links below on Amazon or visit the official site.

After Tweeting the question, over the next few months more situations came up where the decision to have a quick cuppa or a spot of grey matter so she decided to write them all down.

Split into categories such as the Health benefits of each and how appropriate each are in Social Situations, there are over 100 arguments as to the pros and cons of each; such as

The book is a lightweight, fun read which can be enjoyed on the tube or bus to work for a week, or read in a day in the park/basement. Beware though as some of them will make you laugh out loud and cause other people to look at you strangely (you could always read them the one you were laughing at though).

As the book is a vanity publishing you’ll have to get in contact with Ghoul Friday directly to make sure they are in stock (and if you ask nicely she’ll even sign it!), but for a meagre $10 CAD (+shipping) you certainly get your money’s worth.

So, which is better, Brains or Coffee? You’ll just have to buy it to find out.