Top 10 Craziest Weapons From Zombie Movies

Top 10 Craziest Weapons From Zombie Movies

As a general rule of thumb the Undead are not particularly bothered about weapons, having bitey teeth and grabby fingers are usually more than enough. For those of us still human however, teeth and fingers do not provide much security in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Weapons, weapons, weapons, that’s what we need, and while the mantra of “shoot ’em in the head” has been drilled into us through years of zombie movies, surely there are some more… exciting methods of dispatching the undead?

Well, having gone through all the ‘documentary’ evidence from films gone by we can now present the near-definitive list of bonkers weapons used to send the undead back to re-death.

10. Bow and Arrow

As seen in: The Video Dead
Bow and arrow toy set

Lets start off with something totally daft. Sure, it’s not a particularly strange weapon in the grand scale of things, but you’d have to be quite bonkers to rely on this to see you through waves of zombies. Unwieldy, single-shot, inaccurate and very slow to reload, a bow & arrow may net you one or two revenants, but unless you are holed up in the woods with a knife and a penchant for whittling, you’d run out of ammo in next to no time. A bow and arrow combination is best left in the world of Zelda or Robin Hood. What we need is something that doesn’t suck…

9. Vacuum Cleaner

As seen in: Dead Meat
Vacuum cleaner as zombie weapon?

Okay, so “doesn’t suck” was an intentionally bad choice of words there. While the bow works best as a long range weapon, a vacuum cleaner is only really any good up close and personal. As possibly the best scene in an already awesome zombie movie Dead Meat, the use of a vacuum cleaner to fend off a zombie attack was inspired. Yes, a good old nozzle in the eye! It’s a pretty slimy and gross idea, so best avoid this option if you’re on the squeamish side and naturally it’s not much use against multiple foes. However, it should take the zombie by surprise as well as knock out their depth-perception helping you to make a speedy retreat, although only as far as the extension cable will allow before you have to leave it behind.

8. Leg Gun

As seen in: Planet Terror
Rose McGowan in Planet Terror with leg gun attachment

We can’t really continue without including at least one firearm of some description – and to be honest we’ve copped out a bit and included two here – although these guns are not your usual hobo redneck variety, they are much more bizarre. First up is from the film that brought us collectible testicles and John ‘Bruce Willis’ McClaines’ bubbly melting face: it’s the nutjob leg gun. How does she reload it or even pull the trigger? Who knows, but you have to admit its just the sort of prosthetic that’d come in handy for ensuring you got the disabled seat on the bus. And it sure is effective for wiping out flesh-hungry zombies.

7. Triple barrel shotgun

As seen in: Undead
Undead poster, triple barrelled shotgun

What a false-leg machine gun is lacking is 2 extra barrels, along with the ability to be at least slightly practical. Coming across like a cross between Evil Deads’ Ash and Clint ‘Pink Cadillac’ Eastwood, Marion from the Aussie flick ‘Undead’ has created a phenomenal boom-stick. The ability to sever a zombie in two, as well as blow holes in balsa wood walls would surely come in handy in an unexplained outbreak of the undead. Even if those zombies are entangled in a schizophrenic sci-fi, alien, zombie plot mash.

6. Holy Water

As seen in: The Dead Pit
Holy water tap

Not all zombies are affected by gunfire and violence. Sometimes it takes the Good Lord to step in and provide some ammo of his own. By getting a nun to completely change the chemical properties of water, turning it into… holy water, The Dead Pit shows that as long as you can have access to one of Jesus’ representatives and an enormous supply of water, zombies can be flushed away in pure melty-face disgustingness. It’s just a pity that this only proves effective to the loony-bin dwelling living dead, but hey, we’re all headed that way soon.

We’re into the top 5, so lets bring on some real fire power! Hit the next page to see the craziest zombie weapons.

5. Flamethrower

As seen in: Night of the Creeps
Flamethrower from Night of the Creeps

Now, if you’re anything like us you never leave home without a fully fueled flamethrower. Perfect for the prom queen in all of us, it is both attractive and practical. Impress your ginger loser of a prom date by burning up all the slug-infested zombies around campus while staying toasty warm into the bargain. Just watch out for the zombie cats and dogs.

4. Boat Propeller

As seen in: Zombie Holocaust

All of these fancy-pants weapons are all well and good if you are a city dwelling land-lubber, but all you sea commuting island citizens fear not, as the perfect weapon is just out there on the jetty. Yes, grab that outboard and get to work on those clay-faced plantpot zombies. Not only is it a meaty and satisfying weapon to wield, it can also double as a decent means of propelling your boat away from the hoards. That is provided you haven’t already removed it from the dingy and plunged it into a shufflers face.

3. Lawnmower

As seen in: Braindead
Braindead lawnmower carnage

While a small propeller is pretty handy for taking on one zombie at a time, for power and sheer quantity of living dead that can be annihilated in one go, not much beats the spectacular lawnmower scene from Peter Jackson’s Braindead (Dead Alive). Very few weapons produce such volumes of the red stuff, and provided you have a substantial power cable (or fuel in the tank) you could roam around shredding the dead to pieces. However, one must wonder that the odds of catching some blood and fingers in the mouth must be pretty high, so you’d be risking you own humanity taking on this method. Still, it looks incredibly satisfying, eh?

2. Guitar Picks

As seen in: Wild Zero

Almost at the top end of the bizarro weapons comes some electric laser guitar pics from bonkers Japanese movie – and Guitar Wolf vehicle – Wild Zero. It was a close choice between these plectrums and the guitar/sword combination from this film, but for portability, speed and electrocutionability you can’t beat this choice of projectile. There is the obvious issue with charging up these items, so we assume they are made from recycled Duracells and parts of electric eels or something. However you make them be sure to dress like an 50’s throwback while shouting “Lock and Loll” [ZC: Is this racist? We don’t know.] for maximum performance.

1. Vaginal Laser

As seen in: Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers
Vagine Lazer

Crashing in at the top spot is the ideal weapon for all of us, although that is assuming that all of us are female.

Yes, what girls outfit is complete without the ultimate in self defence: a custom build internal labia laser. Who would suspect as you disrobe infront of the zombie throng that you have a frikkin’ laser-beam tucked away from prying eyes? Although faced with a similar trigger firing problem as the leg-mounted machine gun, and the potentially painful and currently unknown method of recharge the device, the all around benefits of this device are second to none. It’s a human powered laser, who wouldn’t want that? Perhaps for us guys a similarly located device could be produced so we could wield a light-sabre style groin attachment? Time to dig out that science kit from the attic…

Honorable Mentions:

Somewhat impressively we’ve managed to complete this list without mention of the Gods of zombie weapons; Savini and Romero, and the pair of them deserve at least a mention.

Who could forget the helicopter scalping or machete to the noggin from Dawn? the Scythe from Diary? Survival of the Dead also had some brilliantly inventive weapons such as the flare-gun to the mouth, and even back in the heady days of the 1960’s with Night of the Living Dead there were useful weapons, in a fuel pump and even a Crowbar (an item which makes very few appearances in zombie movie history). However we are not ones to take the easy route, and if Romero had been allowed into the full list then he would have potentially monopolised it, and where’s the fun there?

So that’s our list. Feel free to leave any comments pointing out the glaring omissions and faulty facts in this article, or just to praise the sheer journalistic prowess on show here. We’d love to hear from you.

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Jon Walmsley watches zombie films. Then he writes about them. You can find more zombie film musings on his blog or you can follow him on Twitter.

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Comments (21)

 

  1. natalie says:

    similar to holy water, what about salt water, as seen in ‘Zombie Town’?
    that’s a great film, by the way. :)

  2. Joseph says:

    Reggie’s quad-shotgun from Phantasm 2

  3. horrorfang says:

    L4d makes a reference to using lawn mowers as a weapon
    one of the campaigns has you going in a house that has a massive pool of blood and body bits with a overturned bloody mower next to it

  4. Ray says:

    What about the defibrillator from Diary of the Dead? Pretty much useless, but it does at least pop their eyes out. Also, Survival of the Dead features a creative use of a fire extinguisher as a weapon. Hint: it’s not used as a bludgeon.

    • Jon Walmsley says:

      Yup, gotta give that one to you. The Defibrillator scene was one of the highlights in that film for sure. And the extinguisher in Survival too, although probably a bit too OTT in the CGI department to be truly classic.
      You see, that’s why I couldn’t go with Romero in the actual list: he’d take the whole thing over!

  5. Serafina Robie says:

    Nice website, I love it, but it looks a kind of strange when using mozzila browser, keep it moving:)

  6. Zedword says:

    Oy! I got a beef to pick with you. Why is the triple-barrel shotgun from Undead on here but NOT Reggie’s Four-Barrel Shotgun from Phantasm? He uses it to waste zombie midgets. I cry foul.

    • Jon Walmsley says:

      Well for a quad-barreled shotgun, Reggie’s sure looks wimpy. Marions gun from Undead just looks so much more awesome. It’s much bigger for a start.
      I stand by my decision sir!

      • zombeslayer457 says:

        if you know the history channel.com they have something called kuma games and in dinohunters you can get a quadshotgun.

  7. latufla says:

    ) Great review! A lot of this movies and weapons are my favourite.
    BTW In Survival of the Dead there was a flare-gun shot to the stomach, not to the mouth) Prooflink-> http://zombieawards.org/#40_2010

  8. zombeslayer457 says:

    LOL vaginia lazer,us guys need nuke balls(an idea i have made up)create a nuclear explosion with your balls by hitting them only you survive it,sorry guys BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM.

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  10. Merda says:

    Flametrower must work, zombie brain will evaporate at that temperature.

  11. Tu puzzi says:

    Flamethrower is the best weapon, the human (and zombie’s) brain is made at 90% of water, the flamethrower made something like 900°C so it will literally evaporate zombie’s brain.

  12. Hawkeye says:

    Bow and Arrow “Unwieldy, single-shot, inaccurate and very slow to reload,” this is obviously a enormously ignorant statement, remarked by someone whose archery experience probably ended at the credits of a Robin Hood film. To anyone who actually takes part in the lifestyle and sport of archery, the ability to place arrows in a quarter’s diameter of each other is by no means uncommon. As well as the ability to shoot 5+ arrows within cd sized target at ranges of 15 to 20 yards in less than a min with a compound bow is very possible. This critique doesn’t even go into the notions of silence, and reusability of the ammunition. The bow is a devastating and highly accurate weapon and would find a warm welcome in a world were silence and maneuverability and not minigun style of combat is necessary to survive.

  13. Minttu says:

    What about LPs in Shaun of the Dead :P Although the Zombies didn’t quite die as consequence so I don’t know if that counts…

  14. Traci says:

    Viele Männer lieben es, mit molligen Girls zu flirten und abzuwarten, was
    wohl als nächstes passiert und ebenso die molligen Frauen
    werden immer selbstbewusster und gehen frivol auf die Männerwelt zu.

    ich nehme lieber am realen leben teil und hock keinesfalls vorm computer und such mir girls.
    Wie praktisch, dass es währenddessen möglich ist,
    über diesen Computer miteinander zu kommunizieren, sich zu beratschlagen und ebenfalls einmal Auseinandersetzungen zu führen.

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